[Tan]

Hi Kanya,

We have only been dating for 3 weeks, which he has retreated 3 times
– When I told him I was planning hiking with a guy friend (who is engaged but happened to be the director of the largest entertainment group here in my country). He told me he doesn’t believe engaged man means he won’t be interested in me and try to make moves. So he stopped taking my calls and texts altogether
– When he came back from dinner with his mom (divorced from his dad). He showed me the cold shoulder and told me he felt scared and thinking twice about us
– When I told him I was having anxiety and hope he can support me. He stopped calling and texting the next day. When I finally get him to reply – He told me he doesn’t believe in the concept that we are doing something for each other, doesn’t believe that changes could not happen without your partner.

In between those, he did break down one day and shared with me his childhood, family dynamics and past relationships (cheated 3 times in a roll) that have caused him to feel really insecure. That’s why I’m torn between trying harder or letting go. I keep thinking that I was in the wrong and I messed it up.

We are currently not communicating. The last communication was the text messages I got him to address where we were – as I couldn’t stand the uncertainty of our relationship with 0 communication that comes with no deadline. He told me “need to take a break to be on my own. I guess there are much for me on my plate and I don’t think I can come around with anyone just yet. I tried, but it has taken a toll on me. I would like to keep in touch if you don’t mind. Maybe with time I can rebuild myself again.” The last text was a Christmas greeting from him.

Appreciate your honest truth on what is going on. I’m confused and am in pain from thinking that I broke a bond, or I disappointed/hurt him even he showed me his vulnerable side that he never did to others before.

Thanks…

[Author]

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