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Oh god you’re right. There’s this habit of mine where i chase emotionally unavailable men. I think i just need better closure from this situation, because the way he did things just doesn’t sit right with me. I probably am looking for something more from him, but i know forsure that i don’t want it RIGHT now. That’s why keeping things casual with him was fine with me at the time, because even if we took things super slow, it’s reassuring that in the end we gave it our best.
It grinds my gears though that after i gave him multiple times to redeem himself for the flaking and lying, he still shot me down after only hanging out alone ONCE. oh by the way, our first time meeting/hanging out was me meeting his PARENTS back before he left me for his ex. (that was too much lol, I’m 22, not 16). I want to tell him that i not only feel extremely disrespected, but confused because he keeps trying to say “i hope we can still be friends tho” and that’s just more lying. Is there any way i can go about that? This all started with him chasing after me and apologizing to me all the time for his actions, just so that he can do this. It really leaves me feeling unresolved and wanting to be on a better note with him.
Hi Heidi!
Thanks for your feedback(: first, i want to say that i was definitely confused about what i wanted for a while. I have always thought i was ready for a relationship until recently, when i realized i put in too much time to make relationships work, and i need to focus on my future. However, i do get lonely at times and want something casual to avoid the complex part of a relationship. I had that realization in the middle of talking to him, when he said he wasn’t ready for anything serious, because i wasn’t too hurt about it and actually liked the sound of it. And you’re right, if i truly didn’t want a relationship out of him i wouldn’t be seeking advice like this. I see this potentially going somewhere, but it just might not be the best time for either of us. This guy doesn’t even treat me like a good friend or anything, he and i just have many common interests to talk about (and i have trouble finding that with a lot of men).Second, I wish it was simple to just keep him as a friend and stay having our regular conversation, but we still haven’t spoken since. ( We both are back on tinder too? ) i tried sending a funny video just to spark casual conversation but this is the first time I’ve been left on delivered by him in a while 🙁 i have a feeling that he only said the friend thing to let me down gently but the thing is, the feeling was mutual ? I wanted to tell him that i wish he would at least put in effort for a friendship but i know that’s just going to end badly. Is there anything else i can say or do, that will at grab his attention, so that i know this wasn’t just his mind games?
