[Leila]

I’ve decided that I don’t need this kinda volatility in my life. And that I’m moving on with my life, meeting new people. Actually a guy asked me out for dinner tonight! And I said yes!

But there’s a tiny bit of me still wanting to put my best play in this. Is that weird?

[Leila]

Hi Heidi and Kanya for your wise words.

My work schedule is getting crazier after the promotion so I find myself hardly have the time festering on this.

It still hurts, but I honestly think I should take a step back, as you advised.

So I told him I couldn’t speak with him that night cause I needed to work late; he said “ok let’s shoot for the weekend. Good luck with fire fight”. I didn’t reply.

I been posting my pics and my lil milestones at work on IG stories and he been checking every one of my posts. But I start to do it for myself and the people that really care about me, not for him.

Shall I start dating again?

Heidi, What do you guys mean by playing the Long game, even when he’s dating other women please?

Also Kanya, how does not reaching out to him for 30 days help?

Thanks girls!!

[Leila]

Hi Heidi

Thanks for your reply!

I am 30 and he’s 41. But I think he’s still in the Prince phase as he changed career path at 31. And all his friends are much younger than him.

He divorced in 2017. Later on he had a serious relationship but the girl broke up with him when he had a back injury.

When we first met he said he was ready to settle down. But I don’t know what changed that.

I might have use the hero instincts triggers bit too much. Will take your advice to step back now.

May I know what do you mean by “he has some other stuff going on”? And how do I use the hero instincts triggers sparklingly?

If he already pulled back cause I’ve used too much, will he still respond to those triggers if I use it after awhile?

[Leila]

Not sure if this would help but when we met up to discuss about the break I specifically asked if this is a break or a breakup. He thought for two seconds and said a break. Still, he said I could do whatever I wanted to do; and that if he happened to meet someone he’d date her too. Am I a backup now? But he said right now he doesn’t wanna see anyone. He is a kind and honest person, I don’t think he’d intentionally lie to me.

Help please! I am at my wits’ end!

• This reply was modified 4 years ago by Leila.

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