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Hello, Natasha, I want you to know I am not a relationship expert , I’m a member seeking advice from the professionals as well.
When I read your post it was all to familiar to the beginning of a relationship I ended that should have ended sooner than it did. I decided to share with you. I hope it gives you some insight of what could possibly happen in your relationship.
I ended a relationship with a guy who behaved the same way your guy is. I always had to initiate the conversation and if I didn’t reach out to him we didn’t communicate. Though when we were together he was attentive, loving, and he would even tell me that he loved me. Then instantly go back to only communicating if I texted him first. His replies would be short and sometimes one worded. I was in love with him so I began to enabled him to continue such behavior. He began to make excuses to why he wouldn’t answer my calls and when I tried to end the relationship he would plan a weekend away and once again tell me he loved me basically everything I wanted to hear and hold me close and I would apologize for my insecurities he convinced me I had and assume all responsibility for the problems between us . I am thankful for the way he treated me over the 3 years I allowed myself to be treated, and I’ll explain. Becoming a member of this group helped me realize I deserved better and most importantly I was not at fault in that relationship and I broke free from the guy that could be described as an avoidant, player, or maybe he was just a guy who enjoyed toying with a females emotions. Whatever his game, or true intentions were with me, he taught me a life lesson and I’m stronger because of it.
My advice to you is don’t give years you can not get back on a guy that may not be worthy of spending your time with. If he is anything like my ex, you are in for heartache and it will only get worse. The most painful part is when a man tells you what you want to hear just to keep you hanging on. I hope sharing the short version of what I went through helps you in some way. I wish you all the best and I pray you get what your heart desires.
Sincerely, JCHi Heidi, I’m 49 and he is 53, when we are together it’s great, he’s loving, attentive and we have fun. But when we are apart he’s hard to reach, he claims to be too busy to reply and then I hear about him out on dates. He doesn’t deny going on dates when confronted but says they are just friends and I don’t believe that. I believe walking away would be a mistake because he himself has brought up us having a future together but we’ve not progressed in that direction. I’ve had the arguments with him about me him not worthy of having me in his life only for him to insist I’m not being patient enough and that I don’t understand what I mean to him. I agree with his statement about not knowing what I mean to him. Because I don’t! We’ve been together for right at a year and we’ve broken up sorta 3 times and December 1st we have plans to spend 4 days together that he is paying for and has planned. I’ve already received my airline itinerary and for the past two days he’s been ghosting me and hasn’t replied to any of my messages. Things like this keep me confused. I’m lost at what I should or shouldn’t do.
Sincerely, JC
