[Katerina K]

Hi Heidi,
I’m sorry I didn’t reply to you here, instead I opened a new topic in the forum “Tricky relationships”, but I’m new and I haven’t figured out how it works. So, I will copy here my new questions and also reply to yours.
Communication was cut off 6 months ago now after 20 years of relationship for a stupid reason. It’s always been a weird relationship without getting him ever to really commit, but we had found our paths of being “together” in a kind of a relationship. The pattern was weird but I had accepted it. We could spend days (3-4 to a week) without speaking on the phone and even to a month without seeing each other. But it was “normal” for us. We had argued many times and we didn’t communicate for up to 2 weeks but then he always reached back to me and with a lot of persistence. And even when I broke up with him once for 2 years, he never accepted it and continued calling me once a week saying that he wanted to hear from me my news at a human level, so after 2 years we started a relationship again. But this time, 6 months ago, when I hang up on him for a good reason (and I think he too knew I had every right to be mad at him), he never called back. So now, I want to communicate with him to hear from him the reason why he cut off communication and why now after 20 years he decided to break up with me. Please, I need help with finding a way to make HIM communicate with me. How can I make him call or text me? I read in one of James’s case studies I could text him the phrase “Show me you still love me”. Do you think this is applicable in my case? Also “I need your help” and later on reveal him what I need his help with. I have a lot of things I could ask his help with but what if he never replies back? I dread of that upshot.
The truth is I do want to be with a man who deeply loves me and wants to be with me and wants to live with me and know every part of who I am, but I don’t know how to find this guy, how to start a new life without my “ex”. Do you really think that he is not that guy? That I should let him go and not try to invest anymore in that relationship? But I’m dying to have news of him, to know what he’s doing, how has his life changed over these 6 months, has he found another woman, doesn’t he want to know how I’m getting along, why he hasn’t called for 6 months? Should I consider it’s really over or should I try to trigger his hero instinct and if yes, how could I do that? Is any of the above phrases “Show me you still love me” or “I need your help” right for our situation? Or should I not bother anymore? And if you think the latter, can you help me to show me some ideas how to find a new guy?
Thanks a lot in advance.

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