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Hi Heidi,
Thank you so much for that! Yes that makes perfect sense! My daughter has always been very sensitive, still is. I’m glad I posted to the forum. You guys are wonderful and amazing! Thanks again!
Georgette
Hi Heidi,
I initially thought the same thing but being divorced myself and seeing the negative impact it has had on my youngest who was 5 when her dad and I divorced – she has been in and out of counselling for 17 years, dropped out of school, struggles with drug and alcohol addiction, and attempted suicide – I actually respect how he and is ex are putting their children’s needs ahead of their own. I see this as a selfless act. The kids may be hurt or angry if they find out but in the end I do think they will see how much their parents gave up just so that they could have a decent childhood, instead of one where they felt at fault or unloved or neglected or whatever else children of divorce feel. I only wish that I had had the strength and selflessness to put my own needs aside in favour of my kids’ needs. Maybe my youngest wouldn’t be struggling so much still 17 years later.
Does that make sense?
Georgette
Hi Kanya,
Thank you very much for the reply! I understand what you are saying and you are right. I think I just needed to hear that. As far as no rights, I simply meant that I can’t say anything to him about not being there for me enough because he has already told me that he can’t be there. I was hoping through this online program that if I used the techniques that were “guaranteed to work” that he would become overwhelmed with an intense desire to be with me that he would make me a priority. Ultimately I do not want to be a source of any hard feelings between him and his kids. He says the (ex) wife won’t care but the kids definitely would. I was concerned in the beginning, of even being seen with him, in case one of his kid’s friends saw us. We don’t publicly display affection though so I suppose it would be easy enough to say we are friends or coworkers. Thank you for the advice, I will keep things platonic (they mostly are anyway).
Georgette
