[Monique M]

Hi Heidi! Thanks for your great reply!! You nailed it on the head…everyone tells me how incredible I am and fun to be around and what a great catch I am but my stubbornness and independence gets in my way. I am genuinely a happy person! I don’t have a problem catching a guy its keeping him where I struggle…until now! The secret obsession makes so much sense to me but I think it is too late with Bill who I described initially. Not knowing what to do regarding what I needed help with, I asked him if he would help me market my mom’s house to sell since he was involved with pricing and being my sounding board initially, he basically shot me down and said he wasn’t adequate to do the job. I did some soul searching and experimenting on him a bit and sent him the following email…maybe you can point out my mistakes? You will recognize a lot of the verbiage 😉

Hi Bill,

First and foremost I WANT to apologize to you! I got in my head and stopped living in the moment. I recall you mentioning that Ali at your club helped put the distance and the fact that I have a kid (an amazing kid!) into perspective for you. So, I hope you can understand that I got in my head when you weren’t able to accept my offer to help you pack that weekend. Okay, the Paso girls got in my head and egged me on about what you must be doing, kinda like Katrina! I should have known better, uggh! Then when I got your check, the reality of the adventures we had dreamed of and started to execute were gone! Only YOU made a vacation possible during Covid! YOU were the hero for me and Miranda and your family…You need to know that!! You are the guy who gets the best seats available at a football game and drives 12 hours in the rain to see 30 minutes of the game, the guy who spends a week sanding a deck and drives 100 miles each way 4 times to get supplies, the guy who can also make everyone laugh with his wit and creativity. The guy who works his ass off to keep his business successful so his employees have a GREAT place to work, the guy who can build ANYTHING! I know you joke that you are “the package” but in my eyes I need that hero in my life…only my dad had that stature in my life, never a partner and I know your girls feel that way about you. You have also said I am a “wonderful” person and you only said that to your girls previously.

So, I do know I make you happy, cuz I was right there with you encouraging you along the way…to buy your home, supporting you when you got Walts emails every Sunday night, setting up your booth in LV, supporting your product, political views, and cheering you on every step of the way, my heart only wants the best for you. Ya, ya, propinquity, I know but we have fun together. I understand you and you seem to thrive every time I’m around you! And yes, I got in my head so how can miss “wonderful” of all people act this way and disappear on you? We both know the answer and it consumes all of us at some point and it is that 4 letter “F” word. For me it wasn’t the fear of failure but the fear of being eternally happy, it’s impossible, right?

Unless…the new adventure is building toward a crescendo of happiness and NO that does not mean you have to choose between me and the adventurous life pursuits your instincts call you to chase after! You are a 5! I have those too 😊 So I challenge you to go on this adventure with me…consider the past month and describe one moment when you felt really good, like you were participating in something particularly meaningful. What made it feel meaningful? Why did it feel so good? It is that emotion to continually discover and create adventure that is ever changing that I want to pursue in a relationship. I don’t want a mediocre relationship, nobody does! I want an extraordinary one. So I’m willing to do extraordinary things. Right now that means persisting when others would give up. Who else could you drive 7 hours with and enjoy every minute of it? With their kid in the back seat! The drive to LV was a different kind of adventurous enjoyment 😉

I literally just got a call to show my mom’s house this Saturday! It’s from someone who cancelled on me previously because they didn’t want to waste my time but now that they have seen other properties they want to add mine to the list! I had sent the conceptual plans and proforma and was able to explain the value of the property to the salesperson a bit more. So I really do need YOUR advice because I truly value you and respect you for all the reasons above, so please don’t tell me you are “inadequate” there is nothing about you that is inadequate!

Decision time…

Do I :

a) Lower the price drastically just to get it sold as is? I can sell it to a developer right now for $1.8mm but this would be below what my brothers wanted to clear

b) Take it off the market, dump some money into it $10k or so, get my brother completely out of there, hope Trump wins and the economy soars with low interest rates then spend marketing $$ and re-list it after the first of the year when the real estate market is usually its strongest and potentially get an extra $200k from it’s current price of $2.2MM

c) Keep going as is and be patient

SOOOOO…

What do you think would happen if we tried to break all the rules and lived full-throttle toward being happy, instead of just hoping for happiness?

Thanks and Love to you always!

Moniqua

Heidi, I know he is busy right now with his new house and he may have moved on to someone else but I truly wanted him to know he is an amazing person…I don’t think anyone has ever shared these thoughts with him since he had been married for 24 years prior and expressed his ex-wife was very proper, some what of a prude and would argue about the color of the sky!

I truly did want him to know these things and not sell myself short either which I usually do! I’ve been divorced twice, no lawyers each time, no child support, no alimony, basically let the guys off the hook…and they still call me to this day! Which is more valuable and healthy in the long run to me than a check every month!

I feel I have changed and now understand the bridge but would love your feedback on my approach with Bill. After re-reading it I can see how he might say oh Brother, but I am grateful that I shared these thoughts of mine with him!

Thanks for your time!
Monique

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