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Hi Heidi,
I actually came to a realization, I was feeling guilty for the breakup and it was all my fault and he was just fine so I don’t want to reconnect with him anymore. I started dating a new guy but he just told me he doesn’t want to be in an exclusive monogamous relationship right away and he is kind of afraid of commitment, I mean I don’t want to close my choices right away now that I started dating again but also I don’t want to make it all “open”, I don’t know if I’m making myself clear. The point is that I want to kind of lead the path somewhere it could be something real and serious but I dont know how to do it, it is really early on the dating phase so I don’t know how to do that. Is there any recommendations on how I could make him change his mind on the relationship thing? I’m reading the book but honestly I really don’t know how to apply it. I struggle with those things
Thanks!
Hi Kenia,
Thanks for replying, yep, I’m comfortable reaching out to him but honestly I don’t know what to say to him to tell him I want to listen to him. It’s been a really long time so I don’t know if he’ll be willing to have facetime or call. How can a ask him or bring the subject without sounding like I need it to happen. I know I did a lot of things wrong at the end so I kinda know where his coming from. When we were dating, at the beginning of the relationship, one day out of nowhere he said something like “if we ever breakup I know I’ll be fine”… for me it was weird to hear that so when we actually broke up i kept replaying those words in my head. What would be the best way to approach to him with this?
Hi Heidi,
Thank you for responding me. I have accepted the fact that is over and might be over for good. He lives in London and I live in Mexico. Even though I’m working on moving to London, just to be clear, I’m not doing it for him but because i really really want to live there and work there, I might never see him again.
About you question, the answer is no. I have no idea why he thinks that way, when I broke up with him i told him my reason of why I didn’t want to continue the relationship even though i was still very much in love with him, i regretted it and I did what i shouldn’t i begged a bit, then we talk 2 weeks later and he told me he realized over that time that he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore, but he wanted to talk. Since I was so angry i told him there was nothing else to talk about and that was it. After that I didn’t talk to him for a few days then i told him i missed him, and the no contact and then a few silly question on interest of him, he always replies to me and engaged a bit in the conversation then he drops. When i told him i wanted to rekindle thing he just said he thinks it’s not a good idea in the long term and for better or for worse things are like this now. I didn’t hurt to read that as I thought but i didn’t think of asking why, so I really don’t know why he thinks that way.
