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I have been hoping that further into our relationship he will have a more mature version of love, similar to mine.
An update…he did reach out to his ex during our month and a half break. I asked him if he had reached out to her while we were apart and he said he had, but that he was choosing to be with me and said he wouldn’t talk with her as long as he’s with me. I know I shouldn’t be upset with anything he did while we were broken up, but because of this comparison, it does bother me. I believe that for him, he won’t be ready to say I love you to me until he knows he wants to marry me.
Even though we have a great sex life, I have recently told him that I’d like to wait to have sex together until I know he loves me. Furthermore, it’s very hard to hear “I don’t love you like that” the day after we have sex together. This past weekend, we did have sex and it’s great like always. It’s so hard to know what to do as I sit in this uncertainty with him saying he doesn’t know if he loves me but also says our relationship is real and he’s choosing to be with me.
Thank you for the response. I appreciate it.
To clarify, I feel confident in myself. I don’t believe she has anything I don’t have.
My insecurity comes from him saying to me “I don’t know if I can love you the way I loved her”. His idea of love is lust and an obsession of sorts. My view of love is having strong connection, friendship, sharing a good life together, etc. He has said that our relationship is better because it’s more real. But, it’s hard for me to shake the fact he has said he doesn’t know if he can love me the way he loved her. A year into our relationship, he hasn’t said I love you. In fact, he says “I don’t love you like that” (in a lustful way). I’m not sure what to do about that. I know he loves me according to my definition of love. But, it’s important for him to love me according to his view of love (except it’s more of a lustful feeling rather than “love” in my eyes). What do you think about that part?
