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Thank you for your reply Heidi! I appreciate your perspective.
I understand that it triggers my insecurities (I’ve been cheated on one too many times, and I have abandonment issues from childhood which I am working on through counseling). Just to provide a more complete background, I didn’t react with jealousy off the bat. That’s how I know about his other crushes. These are all crushes from a long time ago. It just makes him seem like he has a wandering eye. If he had a crush on every other woman then, so he probably does now as well. I’d rather be with someone who doesnt have a wandering eye. It makes me think we’re just not right for each other if he’s constantly triggering my anxieties. And I know for a fact he has a crush on someone in real life.. he likes EVERY post of hers on Instagram, and they’re mostly provocative photos. Yes, he may like a lot of people’s photos, but it’s no mistake that he likes EVERY photo of hers. He wants her attention. It’s one thing if you have a crush, but to keep entertaining it on any level takes away from what you actually have.
I’m fine if he tells me about 1 or 2 crushes from the past. But he’s probably told me about 4 or 5 because it’s become this habit of his to share. I dont mind if he shares, but I think there’s such a thing as oversharing. It becomes a turn off. I dont talk to him about my past crushes which I’ve outgrown.. It’s irrelevant. I don’t really have crushes now.. That’s because I’m in love with him. So when he talks about stuff like this, and he behaves a certain way, I don’t feel like that same level of romance/love/respect is being reciprocated.
In James Bauer’s book/audio about how to show respect to a man as he sees respect as love, there’s this bit where he gives an example of an interaction between this man and woman on a date. The thing he says a woman should not do is talk about the hot guy on screen after watching the movie, as the man will feel disrespected/bad hearing about it, and make him feel like he doesn’t measure up. So why can’t that apply in this situation where I’ve heard about all his crushes and I’m tired of hearing about them?0
