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Hi Heidi,
The visit was great, a little awkward at first but I assumed that would happen since it’s the first time we saw each other in 15 years. And the awkwardness didn’t last long. He came to my house and stayed for almost 8 hours, and we talked about all kinds of things. At one point we talked about how he was supposed to move back home and that was the plan, but he couldn’t find a job here, which lead to the what does that mean for us. I never brought up what I was feeling before because 1. I’ve never been good at expressing these kinds of feelings and 2. with everything he has going on, I didn’t what to overwhelm him.
I know 4 months may sound like not a lot of time but to me it’s an eternity, I don’t know the last time someone has captured my attention for that long to want me to invest my time. We talked for hours on the phone…5, 6, 7 hours at a time and multiple times per week. I don’t know how we built such a connection over the phone but we did. We share a lot of the same interests and beliefs, and were raised pretty similarly; and even the things we didn’t have in common we both had an interest in learning about them. He listened to me, remembered things I said and made me laugh. How was I not going to start to like him? So when it came up in person, I told him that I wanted to be honest and I liked him and wanted to know if we were on the same page. I didn’t give him an opportunity to respond really, as everything came out in one run on sentence…that I liked him, he made me really happy, I’m bummed that he’s not moving home and what does that mean for me, etc. I asked him to be honest with me and is he open to something serious to which he said yes, and that he has no interest in anyone else. He also said he still wants to move back home however that depends on the job market. We are currently 9 hours apart. He’s going to stay at his brother’s for some time, to make sure he likes the job and living in that state; he’s doesn’t want to get tied up in a place if he doesn’t want to stay.
If slowing down is what I need to do, then yes I’ll do that. I want to support him however I can. Is it worth revisiting the conversation we had in person? If I didn’t think we’d make great partners I would have stopped this awhile ago…I’m not looking to invest in someone that I don’t think has long-term potential.
