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Thank you Candace! I appreciate the support. He is a personal trainer so I know he would understand what I was saying. He always complains about people not putting in the work well buddy neither are you! I give up on this. It’s not worth my energy any longer. I’m sure he will reach out! They always do. Sending you love and positive energy!
Hi Kanya,
I felt frustrated and exhausted. It’s always something I did or do. In this case after I wrote all of that he ghosted me like he typically does and then a day later just sent the laughing emoji and the ok emoji. I would like to add he is 35!! He told me he was breaking up with me because of me. it was because I posted on social media not pertaining to him and he took it personal. I posted a picture and the quote was… the best thing about (excuse my language) fucking with me (as in friends, family etc) is that you don’t have to, and when you decide you don’t want to I won’t wish you bad quite the opposite I wish you well. And he texted me saying he was moving on and that he hated seeing me on social media and that I knew what i was doing.
I am tired of the mind games, I have given him endless opportunities and he always proves himself an asshole for lack of a better term. You are right he isn’t someone I see a future with. I’m sure he will realize it like they all do a day late and a dollar short! Thank you
Thank you for responding.
1.) He is usually the one to break up with me. He ghosts me, or tells me we are done and blocks me unfollows me from social media it’s been this way for the entire relationship. He says I don’t do what he asks for, which is send him sexual videos since he is far away. I used to do them all the time for him and he would still tell me he wanted more. I would ask him to call me or text me and he would only do so after i sent a video. In the beginning he was so attentive and we would spend so much time together. When he moved the time difference was hard but I’d stay up to talk to him even if it meant i didn’t sleep. Then he would call or text less and less and would tell me i needed to send him more videos or he wasn’t going to put in the effort.
2.) I feel like he ONLY cares about sex because with everything else he doesn’t really put in an effort. It’s not that I’m not interested in sex I am but I am feeling as if that is ALL I am. Some personal porn star and not a girlfriend.
3.) I want the emotional aspect of a relationship, I want him to meet me half way.
This is the last thing I wrote him and he sent me a laughing emoji:
Also, the only reason I did those things you wanted is because I thought we WERE in a relationship. At least that is what you would say that I was your girlfriend. I guess I was a fool for actually believing that.
I made you the videos because you kept telling me that when I did you would then give me what I needed. Which never came.
This whole thing is fucked up. When we were in a relationship you treated me like shit. Even you admitted to it. I was giving with out getting anything in return and you can’t even put a little effort in with out you throwing in the towel if you don’t get what you want at the time you want it.
I want to love you, I want to be with you, like working out, you need to put in the work right? Or you won’t see results…. I am now the same way you don’t get the benefits with out putting in the work. If you let me love you I will. You can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. I’ve proven myself over and over again. I even flew to go see YOU and you ghosted in me in person. That stung to put in writing, because I have to see it for what it is.
I can’t make you love me, I can’t make you want to put in the work. That has to come from you.
Here is the back story, we met years ago. He lived here in Cali and the first time he reached out I wasn’t really interested and then he ended up moving to another country and reached out again and again and was so persistent that i finally gave it a shot. He looked like your typical player and I didn’t want to get hurt. He would always say I don’t know much about you but I’m drawn to you. I’ve never felt this way, with the exception of my ex etc. I flew to see him and when i got there he ghosted me for a few days. I went out and enjoyed touring the country and he sent me a message and said his phone had broken. I suspected that maybe it was another woman but couldn’t be sure. He would come over to the hotel but would never stay. When I left he ghosted me completely. When I was sitting at the airport I sent him a really emotional text as i was crying my eyes out that I wasn’t going to reach out anymore. He texted me 2 months later and would say he missed me but communication would stop again. I ended up getting pregnant when i visited him and told him and he left me on read, he never asked about the baby or I. I lost the baby when a i was 5 months pregnant. It was a little girl. He never asks me about her. It’s like he just ignores it happened. Recently he told me he wanted to work things out and I agreed but he would text me like once a day. That’s not a relationship. I was so sick and tired of the same shit so i told him I was done, that I wanted more and was worth more. That his promises were empty. His response was “wtf.” This man is 36! And that’s all he had to say to the novel I sent him. So I threw in the towel and would leave him on read the two times he texted me. He said “love you” and I hope you still want to see me. When i didn’t respond he sent me a message saying that he was going to make a promise he intended on keeping. To never contact me again and as I was typing he blocked me. Wonderful right? Well then he texted me and said I pushed him to do that. That this was all my fault. I stopped replying. He sent me another message said he kept thinking about me. But never puts in any effort, he hasn’t called me or tried to talk to me. I wish i didn’t love him. But I do. I don’t know what to do. Any help would be great. I feel lost.
