[Tracy L]

Thank you for your response. I 100% agree. As hard as it is to hear and deal with, you’re right. I will take your advice. It’s been a week yesterday since my last text that he didn’t respond to when I said thank you. I will wait another week and who knows maybe I’ll get lucky and he reached out to be like he did last week 🙂 thank you. Will keep the thread up to date. You’re all so helpful and helping me through this rough patch 🙏❤️

[Tracy L]

Yes I’m taking a breaking from reaching out, for now anyways. Maybe I’ll give it another week or so.. he still didn’t give me my item.

I know for 100% fact he is not seeing anyone else. He just said he’s moved on.. but then why keep my item and our pictures on Facebook for the whole world to see. (He never took pictures with ex’s just with me)

[Tracy L]

So I met him on Sunday, he was cold, distance, one word answers. Back and forth about being friends, then saying he isn’t the type to be friends with ex. I asked him to clarify that since he never liked any of his ex but actually liked me as a person.
I then ask if he would want to take a walk later or another day and let me see his dog. He said maybe, I called that night, no response. I sent my second thank you text Monday, and said ttys. He never did reply back. I guess I’ll try again in a week, any suggestions how I can get him to respond?
I can’t just give up yet, my heart and gut says it’s not time yet to give up

[Tracy L]

Hi guys,
So I was going to wait until tomorrow to reach out, since I have my first therapy appointment today. However HE reached out to me last night. We had a flight booked for vacation back in May, he wanted the info of the flight. So I took my opportunity and asked him if he would be willing to help me. We spent an hour and a half between phone call and text. It felt great to talk to him (no relationship talk) but he still isn’t his complete self with me, I can’t expect that I suppose any time soon.. he needs to put down his defense first.
He was excited to help me! I have to order the piece first, then we will meet and he will fix my car.
I don’t think the whole wait for him to approach me after our meet up is the right approach for this situation. I believe he needs to see me fight for us the way he did, as I never put my effort into fighting or even our relationship much because I was so angry and hurt. I wouldn’t be needy or pushy. If you have any advice, I’d love to hear it!
I will be meeting sometime next week, whenever the piece comes in.

thank you!! 🙂

[Tracy L]

Absolutely! Not interested in sex anyways until I know we are in the same page. I will just be my fun self, the person he fell in love with. Thank you for that!

I think that’s perfect plan, making my thank you message a two parter. Do I make the a day apart?
And after the second thank you text saying how much safer I feel now it’s all fixed, giving him space and letting him reach out to me.. what if he doesn’t? Do I continue finding other ways to spend time with him? Keep showing him the side he fell in love with. If I can in your advice you say it would be ok to reach out to try to spend time with him, how long should I wait?

I start my therapy this week. I hadn’t before all of this.. will be my first visit

Thank you so much for your reply!!
I will continue to keep this forum up to date. You guys are amazing and truly helpful. Thank you!!!

[Tracy L]

my question I forgot to mention for this reply was, once I got his attention and hopefully willing to fix my car, the day we meet up should just be catching up, nothing too personal right? what I want to know is, where do I go from the first text when he replies and meet up. Do not talk relationship or getting back together yet at this point right?

[Tracy L]

Hi
Thank you so so much for getting back to me.

I just want to clear some things up. He went to counselling for 1 month. He stopped after, saying he had no connection with the therapist, he didn’t feel comfortable. Said he knew what he needed to do, be honest about his past. His past (24 year old when I met him) wasn’t too much, however that being said.. he was embarrassed and ashamed of his past. The way he thought was ‘ I have this amazing girl, who’s perfect, who’s been married, settled down, mature, not ashamed of my past’ that I wouldn’t like him, if he was honest about his past and lack of experience. He was with 6 girls previous to me, he was ashamed of them all, he went into each relationship just for sex, he had no connection with them, he never even spoken about him self, the relationships were of high school type. Meet up, sex go on his way. He didn’t want me to believe this is who he would be with me, he wanted me to know he was serious and that it was nothing like his past. So he lied, he lied about girls he was with, or who is wasn’t with. He figured telling me he had a threesome would make him look like he had experience. At the time it killed me, fast forward now, 3 years. This was the only thing he ever lied about, was about girls in his past and the getting tested lie. He hasn’t lie about anything about himself, or things he’s done during our relationship. He took me time to rebuild that trust, but he worked hard at it, and got me to trust him again after all.

Yes it makes sense, he has emotional baggage from his past, but I believe now he may have let them go, for a fact.. I don’t know. Just the way he acts and talks… the time of me trying to untangle the lies, he was getting fed up of having to always talk about his past. He wants to move on and forget, move forward from it.

I can accept he may have baggage, if he can work through them with me I believe it can work, but I have to start from ground zero. I am starting therapy session this week coming to work it all out in my head, all the changes my life is going through.Of course this relationship is my main goal in discussion. See how I can better my mental state to see him through his (if we love each other enough, I believe we can stick through the hard times, to see better times in the future) or so I can hope.. or am I crazy? lol

Perfect, thank you!! I am willing to fight for this. He fought for me so hard, with such passion and compassion, with such love and devotion. I owed it to both of us to fight for this. you’re right, I may get shut down.. but I won’t know until I try, right! 😉
Yes he is great with cars, I need new lights, that he was going to do for me, he is the only one I trust. So I will write a text just how you worded it. I will let you know how that goes over the next few days. I want to finish reading the hero instinct book first before reaching out to him.

thank you again! I will keep this threat up to date

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