[Regina S]

Hi Kanye!

Thanks so much for your insight. You certainly gave me a lot to think about. I have followed your advice and not reached out to Will since last Thursday. At this point it has been a week since I last heard from him. This seems to be the new norm. The longer he is away the less frequently I hear from him.

His hours of work are very unpredictable. He often goes weeks without getting a day off and can typically work 12-15 hour days. Working those extended hours I can understand why he may not have time to reach out but everyone has a couple of minutes to send a text. Even if it’s just to say “things are hectic but I’m doing okay.” I suppose it all comes down to my having to decide if this is sustainable in the long term and if the relationship is worth not having my needs and expectations met.

Regina

[Regina S]

Hi Heidi!

You certainly gave me a lot to think about. From my perspective, when I don’t hear from Will regularly I feel as though he does not think I am a priority. I also get concerned that he is forgetting about me, that I am not on his mind as much as I used to be when he first leaves on a trip.

Perhaps I need to be more clear with him regarding how his lack of communication makes me feel. But I need to do it in a way that does not come across as being needy. I have also considered keeping a journal so I can jot down my thoughts and feelings when he is away and let him read it when he comes home. I know his schedule is very unpredictable and he often works 16 hour days. He is extremely dedicated to his work….he needs to win. So I don’t believe that he is opposed to texting but rather just overwhelmed at times and doesn’t think communication with me is a priority. I believe that is something that will be difficult to change but if I communicate my needs appropriately he may be receptive.

Regina

[Regina S]

Hi Heidi,

Thank you so much for your response. Will and I met online in early October last year. Our first date we both experienced such a strong emotional and physical connection that we took our dating profiles down the next day. Every time we are together it’s like the 4th of July. Neither of us has ever experienced such a strong instant connection. It’s truly as if we were destined to be together. Prior to his current job he served in the Air Force for 27 years. I am his first relationship since he retired. He needed to take time after retirement to ensure he could adjust to civilian life.

I entered the relationship with eyes wide open, knowing it would be a challenge. One of the things I admire most about Will is how driven and goal oriented he is. Given how independent I am Will said he was confident I could handle being in a relationship with him. I am not clingy or needy and don’t do drama. We always make the most of the time we do get together.

I do not want to give up on our relationship. We are both hopeful for our future together and both acknowledge there are challenges associated with achieving our long term relationship goals.

The reasons I do not hear from him regularly range from working in a secure location where phones are not allowed to working irregular hours to dealing with emergent threats. There are times I hear from him every day and then there are occasions, although rare, when I don’t hear from him for 7 to 9 days. During those longer periods when I do hear from him it is a phone call which I appreciate.

I have never heard of the Marco Polo app. I will check it out. Usually when I am on vacation I use WhatsApp to communicate with Will. In fact, that is when I hear from him most. He enjoys hearing about my trip and seeing the pictures I share. Maybe I need to go on vacation more often😂

Any suggestions for texts I can send that will generate a response from him? He definitely has the “hero complex” which is why I believe he is so invested in his job.

Regina

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