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Yes, he initiated the commitment. He tried to date but girls didn’t want to date him cause he didn’t serve a mission in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He decided to serve in the military. When girls didn’t want to date him for that reason he eventually gave up. We both had no intentions of becoming physically intimate, we would just tease each other about it through text. We ended up letting our feeling get in the way, which I now see. However when we were in the relationship I was trying to back off but I guess I didn’t try hard enough. We both felt a connection and it wasn’t because of us being intimate. We felt we had somethings in common which I think we got excited about which eventually let to the feelings. When the feelings got in the way, I think, it made it harder for us to get to know each other. I am not sure if it was something I said or after being intimate which made him realize we we’re moving too fast. I had a little more dating experience then he did but I do emotionally get attached in general, but I don’t mean to do it on purpose. I am just a very loving, caring, affectionate person is part of my personality and has been from a young age. I’ve had time to realize that as hard as it is I’ve been distancing him from me. I haven’t been responding if he talks. It seems to make it harder when he responses cause I haven’t fully accepted the fact were friends, even though I’m trying too. Yes, I see it. Its just I didn’t try to stop it even though things seemed weird at 1st. It will be hard but I am trying to accept that. My biggest question is how can you be friends with guys? I never had guys for friends growing up. I was very sheltered growing up, because of my dad.
Okay so I cant sleep cause of what I found out. We’re friends on Facebook and I am sure he that he saw my music video I posted called Giants Fall by Calee Reed. I responded “This song helps remind me God is in control.😇 Sometimes nothing makes sense & some things cant be explained why they happen the way they do. But most importantly when you give God your problems everything eventually gets better. You feel like you can move on and become a Stronger person. 💪🙂 With God Nothing is Impossible.” 😁 That same day about an hour later he posted a music video ‘The Doors – Light My Fire’. I am not sure if I completely understand but I am thinking the reason he broke it off was because he thought our love we had for each other was only about being in love, but that fact is yes love can be blind but he doesn’t understand it wasn’t just about us being in love. I wasn’t in a relationship just for love, it was about getting to know each other. He thought our love would stop us from truly getting to know each other. If you recall me saying before our relationship ended that I was trying to get us to talk less and it not being ever single day, like checking in with each other 2 times a week and talking on the weekends we didn’t met up. I don’t want to lose him and I wish he could know the reason. We both have never truly been in love and cared about someone so deeply before, the way we do. He thought our love would stop us from getting to know each other but cause he doesn’t understand it is actually just the opposite now. He doesn’t understand there’s different ways to love each other and thinks it is only is a sexual way. I would do anything to get my boyfriend back. I am praying for a miracle to happen because besides my kids he in the next best thing in my life.
P.S. Somethings you can’t explain you just know. I am begging for your help even if I need reassurance.
Something I forgot to mention is we both felt a connection & had a lot in common based on what we did know about each other. We had very few things that we didn’t have in common. I couldn’t help but feel like we were the same. I don’t like to give up on things so easily but he makes it sound like he is so sure and that’s the hard part.
About my son I meant he was physically abused not that he is abusive. The thing is I have lots of girls that are my friends I just don’t know how to be a friend to a guy. I’ve been working on having a high self esteem since the last year and a half. I am going to a counselor and he told me he has seen a difference with me now then since last year in Nov when I 1st met with him. I have been using positive enforcement not only with my kids but for myself and treating myself even more better like I matter. When Be Irresistible came in I feel even more amazing then I know I did years ago. I feel like it gave me an extra boost. I don’t feel down about myself or how I am going to look when people see me. I look at myself no matter what I look like and still feel great about myself. I dance in the car to my favorite songs and sing like it doesn’t matter if people are watching now. I used to not even do that at all. Most days I feel like I am on top of the world. My kids tell me I am the best mom ever. When challenges arise yeah I am not sure how to deal with it, sometimes but I have been trying real hard not to let it get me down. I feel like I am a lot more ahead about feeling confident about myself and my counselor even told me that too, but maybe not as much as my communication with guys. I ask questions and do my best to keep them direct. My healing work is having positive reinforcement. I told the guy I’m talking to “I am naturally me if given the chance. I’ve had a friend tell me something they like about me is I have the kind of attitude of not giving up and just keep going. The fact is it’s TRUE cause you cant go backwards. Life is very challenging at times but gives you experience to help you find what your looking for, in the long run. It took me along time to get where I’m at now. So I guess it just comes natural at times. I been in other relationships before but most of the guys only wanted one thing or didn’t take the relationship seriously and was talking with other girl(s), or they didn’t feel I was good enough for them. I just try to be the person God would want me to be and learn to be a stronger person and move on. He’s told me: You seem very outgoing and direct. You sound like a wonderful person. It’s surprising that you’re single. You’re a great catch. I ask him this question and he ask me. I said “If two of your closest friends were asked to describe you what do you think they would say? One of them responded to me Caring, loving, Christ like, good mom and another responded: Kindest, sweetest soul. Spirituality & being a mother is first priority. He said: They would say I’m very dependable and nice. Now I don’t know if this makes a difference in what we’ve talked about before. I thought the conversations were going good but at I tried so hard not to let them slip. Having patience is my struggle and I want it to happen now. I realize I cant do that, so I been trying to change that with what I want when it comes to having patience. I know patience comes in many different way like kids, guys, life, challenges and so on.
Hi Heidi,
I wanted to let you know I was only explaining what was based on his profile which I forgot to mention. I really only like him based on what he’s told me. I get really excited when a guy talks to me and this is very hard for me to just chill. This is a very BIG challenge for me to change and it is hard to catch myself. The thing is I didn’t date when I was younger and came from a very protective & sheltered family. I was actually abused my whole life actually. I was verbally abused when I was younger, my 1st marriage mentally & emotionally abused, & my 2nd marriage I was mentally abused but my older son was physically abusive. See, cause of my experience I know what I want in a guy I just cant find it but I think my biggest deal is I give people a 2nd chance in life and maybe that’s my problem, I don’t know. The thing is I don’t know how to make things right when talking to guys and I think I scare them off when I am trying to just be myself of who I am and they think I am purposely trying to rush things and that in not my intentions. I am a very loveable, caring, affectionate person and this might make it hard when I meet guys when I start to warm up to them. I don’t know what to say to guys when I chat or talk to them. I am not sure what I am doing wrong not trying to sound negative but in the very positive way. I really am not trying to rush anything but have the tendency coming across the wrong way, which I don’t mean too. I don’t have his number but he is still talking to me though. This is a little about me on my profile:
4 things to know about me: 1) I am shy at first or until I get to know you when meeting in person, 2) I am old-fashioned about some things, 3) I’ve been told by many that I’m easy to talk too, 4) I am a Big Deal when it comes to finding someone special & I want someone to love, adore, & spoil. I believe attraction is big deal to me. I understand nobody’s perfect but also looking for something that’s real & a guy who knows how to treat a women, to enjoy life & have fun with, who believes standing by ones side through thick & thin, who is simple, responsible, appreciates, positive, likes to communicate, understanding, honest, takes life seriously but has a sense of humor, who can accept my kids, & wants a family. As u can tell I want to be married again, when the time is right. Life is not a game & I’m not a player, so no playing around. I have a dog, 4 beautiful kids, 3 boys & 1 girl. If you haven’t figured it out by now let me be plain & simple I’m the ‘Real Deal’. I know what I want. I don’t WANT a guy that has his head in his pants. So end of story! I NEED a great guy who is after my heart. I live by ‘Life’s too short.’
This is about him:
I’m very outgoing, career-oriented, and enjoys life at its fullest. I’m looking for someone whom is real, genuine, and can be themselves. No headgames! I like my career job but I’m willing to balance my career with someone whom I believe is special. I don’t believe that is a lot to ask for in someone and I’m willing to give the same in return.
He’s been looking at my profile 15 times so I think it means he is still interested, right? I did send him that message cause that is the only way I can talk to him. Should I wait to hear from him…? Not sure what to do…. The thing is I just want someone who is going to be ‘Real Deal’ & maybe that’s why he’s caught my attention. I just want to fix this so I can stop messing up. I like him and want to get to know him more.
~Daisha~
Update: He did respond to my “hi. how are you” message and asked me how mine was. The thing I’ve noticed he asks questions some times referring back to what I ask. I am wondering if he can be a quiet person which isn’t totally bad cause I’m the same way but I am a little more out spoken with writing things down then talking in person. He is respectful, hard working and doesn’t give up on a challenge and will fight for it kind of thing. He is willing to balance his career with someone whom he believes is special. What I can tell you is he sounds like he likes me when I have something to talk about. What my moms concern is she would like to see him show more interest in me by asking me more questions, but she understands he might be saving the conversations for when we meet in person. He’s viewed my profile again today so I know he is thinking about me. How can I open him up to talk more? I can tell you I have a hard time with having patience but sometimes it’s just because I get excited about hearing back from him. It seems when I don’t expect it he responds. I’ve been wondering how long is too long for a guy not to respond, in general?
