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Yes thanks But… we’ve been messaging the past 5 days bkz he has something of mine I need. Neither of us has mentioned what happened. We’re the usual joking and he was vulnerable and told me about all the stress from work he’s under and how he’s dreading kicking his friend out bkz his daughter is there permanently now bkz she’s going to grad school. I’m supportive but this is so hard. I don’t know where we stand. I think all the stress of this covid made me act out of character saying we’re done then he did right back. Said sorry didn’t mean it but he said let’s just be friends. Now I don’t know what is up seems like he wants me back but I don’t know. How do I handle this? Suggest we meet and talk or just wait with the elephants in the room? So confused. I definitely want him in my life and I want him back. Help please.
It’s made me realize I’m much stronger than I thought and I now have boundaries which I didn’t before My question is how do I get him back as a friend. I really miss him and want him in my life again. We got along so well on a level nobody else ever understands me like he does. Should I keep waiting for him to reach out since he said he needs time to relax and heal from
Things internally? It’s been 2 weeks. How long do I wait and how do I reach out? What do I say? I’m afraid if it goes on too long he moves on without me and I feel we both really add a lot of value to each other’s lives. I don’t want to lose what we have together.Also I was worried about all the girls after him on social when we became exclusive and asked if he was being faithful. He said of course! I barely have time for you I Def don’t have time to cheat nor would I. I think that my insecurities are bkz of my massively cheating ex. But when he’s not giving me attention now and he is to strangers it makes me insecure and triggers that hurt from before. I want to have the willpower to not look but I miss him so much I do.
Thank you so much! I haven’t heard from him now in 2 weeks and I really miss him. He’s a huge part of my life, heart and supporter. He hasn’t answer my message last sent Saturday night asking what’s going on and let’s just be friends again. I want him in my life as a friend. I need him. Don’t know how to make that happen. Last I heard he messaged me 11days ago saying he wasn’t ignoring me for any other reason but self preservation. He’s shutting everyone out for a while bkz he’s exhausted and overwhelmed. He’s sorry for any hurt that came from us stepping outside the friend zone and it’s best at this point we go back to that. He’ll always be my friend and loves me dearly and wants the absolute best for me. Please allow me the space to do what’s best for me for a while Thanks for the love and understanding I replied thank you been killing me not hearing from you(3 days prior we were going to be together and he never called worked late said he didn’t feel good then blocked me when I called) I said I’m so confused I thought you were in love with me as I am with you. I understand you’re overwhelmed I’m here for you in anyway at all I can help unconditionally. Etc plan reach out as soon as you are ready. I felt so confused and heartbroken he’d write that so coldly after all we’ve been through He massively helped with with my ex fiancé who went off and married someone in the Caribbean while engaged to me and kept being with me bkz they weren’t living together yet. When I knew he was cheating (not to that level found out month later) he blocked me and went no contact last. August. So for him to do this to me now knowing what happened shocks me
AND I see him flirting on social which makes me extremely confused and hurts. What is going on? Is he trying to forget me with someone else, is he ever goin to reach out again? I would just like some understanding so I can move forward. He said just before he loved everything about me especially my heart etc etc. I don’t understand any of this. I do want back what we had I truly miss him.Thank you so much Heidi. Never looked at it from that vantage point. No. I don’t want to be used and abused again. Once we crossed from friend to lover zone it all changed. After all I’ve been through, I can’t and won’t take it again. As much as I love him -noooo. Your words shook me to the core. I def did not go through all of this to take more of the same on a much smaller level.i deserve much better. He is angry and that’s why None of his relationships have worked out. I think the reason he said he loves me deeply and wants the absolute best for me let’s be friends again is bkz he knows he can’t deliver. The empath In me is hangin on a thread for him to change…if he just does the work we’d be perfect together but…he’s already flirting with others on social. Whether to hurt me or not it makes me lose respect. Pathetic. Opposite of who I thought he was. So sad.
Yes Kanya! I noticed he takes sooo much from his friends and absolutely nothing from me as soon as he pushed for us to be more. Why??? If his friends keep calling him he answers when I did, he got mad then blocked. I was somehow on another level then, couldn’t figure it out. I feel the partner is the one you should be most understanding and patient with. He has 3 ex wives all who cheated on him…one ex was exactly like my ex he helped get me out of the situation, cheater and verbally abusive narcissist. Couldn’t have gotten away without his love and support. No one else understood and our personalities are very similar so now I’m lost. When he drinks he misunderstands things and goes from 0-90 immediately. The first time it happened I asked him to please just talk so we can understand before getting mad but he did it again several times. Last time he swore at me apologizing the next morning. Never ever saw anything like this before we became lovers. Is this hopeless or eventually we can talk it out? I won’t be with another abusive partner even if it’s just a little. I figured I need to help him get past his triggers but he hasn’t done the trauma therapy I did. What do you think? Can I help him or should I walk away? He’s a huge part of my life and I really thought he was the one but now I’m not sure after his behavior. So heartbroken and confused. And Yes, I think his daughter totally plays him. As soon as we arrived on our vacay she texted asking him to take only her away this summer, please daddy! And when he sent pics of where we were eating etc she’d always respond that she was jealous…?! She’s 22
Yes Kanya! I noticed he takes sooo much from his friends and absolutely nothing from me as soon as he pushed for us to be more. Why??? If his friends keep calling him he answers when I did, he got mad then blocked. I was somehow on another level then, couldn’t figure it out. I feel the partner is the one you should be most understanding and patient with. He has 3 ex wives all who cheated on him…one ex was exactly like my ex he helped get me out of the situation, cheater and verbally abusive narcissist. Couldn’t have gotten away without his love and support. No one else understood and our personalities are very similar so now I’m lost. When he drinks he misunderstands things and goes from 0-90 immediately. The first time it happened I asked him to please just talk so we can understand before getting mad but he did it again several times. Last time he swore at me apologizing the next morning. Never ever saw anything like this before we became lovers. Is this hopeless or eventually we can talk it out? I won’t be with another abusive partner even if it’s just a little. I figured I need to help him get past his triggers but he hasn’t done the trauma therapy I did. What do you think? Can I help him or should I walk away? He’s a huge part of my life and I really thought he was the one but now I’m not sure after his behavior. So heartbroken and confused.
Not sure I should. He’s been such a jerk I’m in shock. Completely Not the person I have been best friends with. Apparently has relationship issues with sexual partners. I’ve been abused before and he’s showing the signs…don’t know if we can move forward or if he’s actually antagonized all of the ex’s and played victim. Don’t know if I’m over triggered bkz of my past . Truly thought he is was the One. Soooo confused.
Thank you so much! But what about the window James talks about for a small time frame to get him back during Covid? I don’t want to miss it. I saw him unraveling the 2 weeks before. with all the stress he allows others to put on him looking for his time especially his grown daughter was not liking him having a girlfriend and now she’s living with him in his bedroom and he’s in the couch bkz he lets a friend stay with him as well bkz his friend lost his job. We definitely did it backwards and I wasn’t the cool casual girl holding back when we started dating bkz he already knew everything about me. I’m afraid he’s shutting me out permanently like he has other girls he dated. What he does. I don’t want to be lumped into that category since we’ve been best friends for well over a year. I really need him in my life and I know I enhanced his. And I’m taking care of everyone else not me…
