[V]

Hello,
in the end some friend briefed me saying that he is angry because he is jealous! He says that a friend of mine told him that I have somebody else and he got crazy! Of course It’s not true my friend didn’t tell him that but he misunderstood and he’s stubborn always thinks that what he says it’s what it is and he’s difficult to change his mind! I was thinking of writing a message to him before going to bed saying that it hurts me that he doesn’t trust me when he perfectly knows that I am not like this and that I’ve always wanted just him. Because I am different cause I really love him. Probably he won’t answer and he won’t say anything but 🤷‍♀️ He’s making everything complicated just because he doesn’t want to admit that he wasn’t right. OMG I really don’t have the words for this.

[V]

It’s difficult because I am becoming obsessed about talking to him also because he said that he’s not good about us being not together but we need to think about what’s happening, so he’s being completely without common sense. Also I have the fear that I will lose him completely if I pull away even if at the same time I cannot be sure about this. All of my friends are telling me to be distant and that like this he will realize and if he doesn’t realize it he’s stupid and doesn’t deserve me and what I am doing for him, but at the moment I only wait for him all day and when some notifications about him arrive I feel my heart sinking. I would have never thought that he would do something like this to me he always said that he wanted to protect me

[V]

Hello!
I confronted him and he said that he loves me but right now he doesn’t want to be in a relationship because we are far and he doesn’t want to worry about our relationship but more about what’s happening, so he just prefers to continue like this talking and be there but without a status and then when we’ll see eachother we will decide what to do 😔 he’s still blaming my friend because he called her and male him worry more (he misunderstood what she said and started thinking that I had someone else) also he got gelous because I told him that a friend of mine (from the quarantine) wrote to me asking if I was fine
It seems that there’s nothing to do right now to make him change his idea and that I should have to wait only…even if it breaks my heart daily 😔 he took the whole situation like “a relationship rn is not good” more than “a relationship rn can help me get through this”
Really he’s beign really selfish…tormenting himself because of gelousy and distance in this situation

[V]

Hi Heidi!! Thank you for your reply!
In fact yes, I am still talking by phone with him but I stopped trying to reach him with “love letters” or talking about us or trying to make him be more present. since I started doing that It’s been three days and today he called me then he said bye because he had work but actually he called me right away to ask how was the situation here and to talk more. Today I didn’t even have to call him I simply wrote to him goodmorning and that I was awake he answered and then a few moments later he called me. I am trying to work on myself even if I am not taking time off of him because we still talk. So actually I am understanding a lot of things about me and about our relationship and what we should work on to make it better. Of course I cannot work on it now because he still is distant not lovey-dovey like before planning a trip after all of this! He is beign negative and I understand but at least understanding where were the problems when hopefully he comes back we can work on it!!

What do you suggest about the pulling back a little thing?

[V]

Hi Heidi!
Yes he depends on me a lot, he used to take care of everything alone and to be treated bad but when I came he started to change in a better way even if little by little because I give him a lot, he started depending on me more the last month we were together and then I had to leave.
We actually talk to eachother everyday by phone call and I ask him about him, his family and how’s the work going. Yesterday he talked to me more and also called me love a few times again, but then today again nothing, he stayed on the phone with me much more time compared to before when he said those things, but he prefers to listen he doesn’t talk a lot because usually when we are on the phone he does also others things, he’s always distracted.
I tried a lot of times asking him how he was and to talk openly with me but he’s a tough one, he always wants the things done his way and you cannot tell him what to do or he will do the opposite. He’s sure about himself and that’s why he always pull away and try to resolve things alone, he did that also in November when something happened to a memeber of his family, but I was there and I know how to “manage” him if I am there but now that we are apart he can’t see me and he also doesn’t sleep, just totally dive into work, trying to help giving advices doing interviews, social media… so he has the kind of feeling he has a backup now, I don’t think he’s realizing it because he has so much things to distract himself. Until a little more than two weeks ago the things were not like this and we were planning to go on a trip at the end of all this also he said that everyday he woke up thankful meeting me, and now boom just exploded. I sincerely love him and I don’t want to lose him, before I was always calm because I knew that everything could happen but I would never loose him and now it’s happening. He also told his best friend that she was invited to our future wedding, and now he pulled away like this 😔 his friends always told me to be patient with him because he acts like an idiot but actually he really loves me (?) now he doesn’t seem to do so

[V]

Hello Kanya thank you for your answer!!
We didn’t really had a situation like this before, I’m pretty calm and everytime we “fought” I was the one trying to find back peace so actually he used to get angry alone! For this reason all of my friends and his friends said and say that I spoil him and that he takes me for granted, for example he used to ask for more time with his friends because he would have see me forever and them no because we were going to live in another city. It’s true that I made mistakes too but I was always supportive and I always helped him everytime with everything right when he needed it. He’s not in a dangerous situation rn actually I went through a lot myself and I am still in danger but throughout the time I was always there, I am a little depressed and so I was not doing a lot of things at first so he got angry saying that I should have done things to make him feel active and to encourage him to do things. He was doing a lot of things but, you know, when you’re going through a lot sometimes it’s difficult to be always happy and active. So basically he said that he got tired of seeing me like this and that he needed to think about himself and not me.
One time a friend talked for me and he got really angry but the next day it was fine. I asked this friend of mine to not call him and not to say anything but then when she asked for his help to help me he started to yell at her telling that she had to stay out of our relationship and he was acting like this to make me react. After that he became more distant and then he popped out with this saying that my friend got him sad with these things and because he hates that someone comes into our relationship he felt like he didn’t know anymore about staying with me now that he loves me but he has a lot of things worrying him from home. At first it was out of the blue so I tried writing him like “letters” and our photos saying how much I believe in us and that I don’t want to throw everything because we NEED to stay separated because of a world crisis because he is my family too and I believe in all of our dreams considering that our relationship was really good and we didn’t have problem at all. He started to think about the fact that next year we would have needed to stay apart for awhile because I need to finish my thesis and he was going back to work to buy an apartment but I told him that I don’t need to stay at my university to finish the thesis and that I was going where he was because I want to fix the things between us and then he said that we will have to see when we see eachother…but I can’t stay in this situation for months, I am trying to be supportive always encouraging and telling him I am proud these last days and he seems more relaxed but at the same time I don’t know how to approach him. We have also quite a gap in our age but our goals are the same and we always loved eachother a ton we were always completing eachother’s gestures and we knew what we wanted. Also this is the first time that we are apart for this long and we used to live together.
Sorry for the long reply I tried to explain
Thank you

[Author]

Posts