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Hi Heidi,
I haven’t had a chance to meet face-to-face yet. I called last week after coming back from my holidays and he sounded happy to hear me. We talked for a long time about many things including his goals for this year. One of them was to sort out his daughter. He was too busy to meet up last week so we said we could try for this week. I knew he was going to have lots on in January as this was something we talked about back in December. This Wednesday was his 50th, which he didn’t want to celebrate and didn’t feel good about it. I wished him Happy Birthday through a text and he said he will call me later that day and he hasn’t. I am not sure if he got depressed, his ex is causing issues again or he is worried to talk to me. I feel, if we don’t meet and I don’t try all the things you suggested above that the chance that we might potentially have will completely fizzle out. How can I get him to meet so that I don’t come across too pushy?
Thank you Heidi. I will do that. What is the best way to validate? I grew up in an environment where listening or validating didn’t exactly happen. I came a long way since then but still struggle at times. Also when we meet how would you start the conversation so that he doesn’t feel like he is being “attacked”?
Hi. I have sent him the exact message Heidi suggested and it seemed to be well received. I am on holidays with my children now but he wants me to let him know when I am back so we can meet.
Is there anything specific I should do or say when we meet?Hi Heidi,
Thank you for the reply.
He doesn’t have many people to talk to about it. He mentioned of potentially visiting a counselor but that hasn’t happened yet.
I do like your idea however I am not sure how to work it in now after our last discussion. We had a big talk last week where he explained what is going on and how much he has on until end of January. I told him that I know he has lots on right now and that I respect that and will give him the space (I will be overseas until the start of January anyway). But when February comes, if he wants to be with me to show me that he wants to be with me. That life is about making choices and we are not young anymore. That I do like him and like spending time with him and that I want to be with him but if he doesn’t want to…He said that it’s not about that but that he is not sure what to do with his kids.
