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Peggy,
Well, growing up, my home was volatile. My mom worked all of the time and my stepdad raised my sister and I. He had NO IDEA how to raise kids and his discipline methods were outrageous and painful. When I was 17 he found out I had lost my job because I showed up late and he beat the hell out of me. I moved out shortly after that. I was very lost and had no idea who I was or what my life was going to be. I then had a hysterectomy at 19 and that sent me into a spiral. Like you said we are taught to grow up, have kids, get married etc. So I felt like I wasnt even able to be a woman in that sense. I had been married and divorced twice by the time I was 27. My first marriage happened when I was 18 and he was extremely abusive. I stayed in that relationship for almost 5 years. At the end of that marriage, I felt extremely defeated. I felt useless and felt like a failure because I couldnt make it work. I got married again a year later to my best friend from middle school. After six months of a very loveless relationship we separated. I finally decided to be alone for a while, try to find myself. I started going to therapy and realized that I was comfortable in abusive relationships because that is all I had known growing up. I am now in my 30’s, I have an awesome boyfriend who is extremely supportive of the struggles I still face. I am working on building a relationship with my parents again. But I still have anxiety when the holiday’s come around and I know that I will be spending time with them. I am still working on boundaries with my parents and learning to stand up to them but it can be a struggle at times. My current boyfriend’s mother is an amazing role model and has helped me realize my worth as well as my potential. SO again, everyday is a learning experience and I am just working on being the best ME that i can be 🙂Peggy,
I am still learning to speak my mind haha. I always feel guilty when I tell someone no even if I don’t want to do what they are asking. It is a work in progress 🙂 But it definitely gives me hope knowing that this is possible and that I can achieve this 🙂 I am so glad to hear you are doing well.
I have been married twice. I am now 33 and in a very healthy relationship (unlike my marriages). I have realized that I do not need to be what HE wants me to be. I have always been someone else to make my significant other happy and in the end lost who I really was. With my current relationship, he love’s my quirks and appreciates my “zany”. I am a lot to handle, very independent and have never really needed “help”. With my current boyfriend, I have learned to allow the help and appreciate it. I think that my idea of independence was never accepting help. I realize now that being a strong woman requires asking for help when needed.
