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Kerry,
You’ve got support here! We have all be through this at one point or another. I’m pulling for you girl!!!Fong,
I have been in a similar situation before. I always had a hard time communicating with a significant other and I have realized the communication is everything in a relationship. I felt that we were going in different directions, and fortunately we were able to have the conversation that made us realize that we wanted the same things and we worked together to get there. I hope that everything works out for you 🙂I think that as a woman we need to know that we are the only woman our guy see’s, and I definitely understand that uneasiness… I dont look at other men in any sort of lustful way so it is hard to understand why guys do that. I really hope you are able to figure this out with him because it sounds like you do have a great relationship besides this website issue. Please keep me updated 🙂
Hi Jean 🙂
I was reading through your post because my boyfriend is always on reddit. I have joined reddit as well but I read the science and news articles. He is really in to scifi and comic-con stuff so sometimes I have looked over and there is a scantly clad woman dressed up as a superhero or whatever. At first I was very insecure about this stuff but it was mostly because I dont have abs and bubble butt like all of these women have haha I have spoke to him a few times about it but I am like you, I dont want to tell him to stop because hen he would probably hide it which is worse. He has assured me that it has nothing to do with what she looks like, he just likes to look at the costumes. I have not noticed it as much lately, and Im hoping we dont have to have that conversation again. I dont like feeling insecure in our relationship when I know he would never stray. But I do wonder if maybe I am not enough sometimes and that isnt a good feeling either.Hey Emily!
I had a similar experience with my current boyfriend actually. He was really motivated and worked all of the time when we first met. Once we got serious he started saying he wanted to be a wood worker and build things out of trees (whaaaat?!) Meanwhile I have an awesome job, I am going to school to be a paralegal and eventually an attorney and he wants to do nothing and make money. I was very close to ending that relationship mostly because goals and aspiration are very important to me. I spoke to him about it and told him his lack of drive was really bothering me. Eventually we realized that he was having a hard time finding his place after we had moved and he was very “unsure” of himself. He started working for his dad again as a computer programmer and thank goodness things have changed haha. How are things going with you and this guy? Have you had the work conversation yet?Peggy,
Ive started getting “my girl on” too!! Normally im a jeans and tshirt type of person, hair up and rolling with the guys haha But it is really nice to be a girl and give the man time to be a “man”. It sounds like things are moving along well for you and I am so happy for that! That is amazing that you write songs 🙂 I play the trumpet and just took up sewing haha My boyfriend builds model cars and we are enjoying the no screen time on saturday nights while we work on crafts. Keep enjoying life girl!
Peggy,
Thank you! I am so happy for you as well. It is hard to break patterns and habits but I am so happy to know that we are both working on this and making our lives better 🙂Heidi,
My boyfriends mother is a therapist and we have become amazing friends…she has helped me realize that I can still be an independent woman as well as ask for help! I didnt realize the two were one in the same until recently haha. Also, I read his secret obsession, and it really did open my eyes to the way i make a partner feel. I was never one for “self help” (or any help for that matter :)) but after reading the book I realized how I was making my partner feel and I didnt want to continue that behavior.
