Hi Heidi,

Thank you so much for your guidance and really useful advice.

I completely agree with you in how I ignored the red flags in the somewhat desperate attempt to connect with this guy and make it work! Now I know that is not the approach for a lasting relationship. In fact I must have come across as low value and desperate. Arrgh. I am embarrassed and mortified at my own conduct. How I belittled myself. I sincerely don’t know how I should act if and when I come face to face with him. My mother thinks it is best to ignore him and pretend I don’t know him. This is actually kind of true since I didn’t know the real him, lying manipulative narcissist. Anyway I think it’s best not to acknowledge him. Your advice as to what to write to him in response to his friendly festive greetings has driven away which is great. After all I do not want to be friends with this guy. He broke my heart. As Bob Marley says ‘The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman’s love with no intention of loving her.’ I find this such a beautiful quote and so apt to my current situation!

Sorry to go on but I think the reason I cannot forget this guy is because he struck a chord with me and I felt an amazing chemistry with him which I haven’t felt in a long time. Not that he was particularly good looking or super eligible but mostly because he led me to believe he was caring, had long term intentions and generally innocent and hard working. It must sound strange but I felt safe with him, I know it was a very short time but he made me feel he would be there for me. I think that’s why I so shocked (still am) when he left so abruptly and without looking back. I’ve always had exes unable to forget and getting in touch and wanting to reconnect in a very obvious way but not this guy. This conduct goes against everything he led me to believe.

Thank you for the recommendation. I have signed up for the newsletter.

All my best,