The Relationship Survival Guide for Introverts
Hi everyone, it’s Amy again!
This month’s eBook dives into dispelling the myth that introversion is a disorder, a negative personality trait, or that introverts are anti-social.
When you hear the word introvert what do you think of? It’s usually something negative, right? I’m here today to change the word introvert into something positive. If you’re an introvert like me you may have heard some of these not so flattering statements:
- You think you’re so much better than everybody else.
- Why don’t you ever say anything?
- You just need to loosen up!
- Oh come on, don’t be such a party pooper.
- Don’t you like people?
In a world that’s so noisy and drama-filled, it’s okay to go against the grain and be an introvert. An introvert is someone who may be quiet, sensitive, creative, thoughtful, and/or innovative. Some well-known introverts include:
- Albert Einstein
- Emily Dickinson
- Gandhi
- Abraham Lincoln
- Charles Darwin
- Frederic Chopin
- Warren Buffet
- Bill Gates
Not a bad list to be a part of, right? These people all made a difference in the world around them and just happened to become well known by others.
I would venture to say that we all have traits of introversion and extroversion depending on the situation and our surroundings. However, Western culture with its tendency to say, “Look at me!!!” does not always value the thinker.
Even in relationships, being an introvert can work against you. So let me ask you this – Are you an introvert? Is your partner?
Maybe you’ve tried to change, to be louder, brasher, command the spotlight, but after a few hours of that it can become exhausting, am I right?
In How to Love an Introvert, Even if that Introvert is You I talk about:
1. Why introverts make wonderful partners. Seriously, who wouldn’t want a partner that is caring, quiet, a good listener, sensitive, creative, innovative, and often wickedly funny? It’s ridiculous to think that just because someone is quiet that they don’t have fun in life, or live in their head at all times, are socially awkward or any of the other stereotypes.
2. Do opposites attract or at least complement? Yes and yes. It takes work though. Think of the Chinese yin and yang symbol, which is a visual of how everything exists as “inseparable and contradictory” opposites. It can most definitely work as long as each person respects, appreciates, and tolerates the other’s strengths. But this is true for any relationship.
3. How do you resolve conflict? The best thing to do when an introvert and extrovert are having a disagreement is to have a safe space for discussion and plan a time to get together. This gives the extrovert time to calm down and the introvert time to think. Set the topic of the discussion ahead of time, vow to stay on topic, and let each person talk without interruption.
4. Show love in the way your partner appreciates it. This doesn’t sound any different than other relationship advice does it? That’s because it isn’t. If you are in a relationship you show an interest in the things your partner likes to do and vice versa. So if your partner is an introvert, don’t throw him/her a surprise party. The opposite is also true. You probably shouldn’t take your extrovert partner to a book club meeting for his/her birthday.
Here are a few things you can work on today to better appreciate introverts whether you are one or your partner is:
- I’m okay, you’re okay. Just because the two of you are different doesn’t mean you are incompatible. Appreciate differences.
- No need to pretend you’re something you’re not. Whether an introvert or extrovert be okay with who you are. You have viable talents and don’t need to create a fake persona to fit in.
- If you feel like a lone introvert, know there are others like you and that you can find them at work, the gym, church, and through friends.
- Make time to do your own thing. In a relationship there is “me” time and “we” time; enjoy both.
My new book How to Love an Introvert, Even if that Introvert is You will help you make the most of your relationship regardless of your personality type. When it comes right down to it, being in a relationship is about understanding each other’s unique needs while appreciating and respecting your differences.
Sounds good, right?
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